Thursday, October 22, 2009


I almost died yesterday. It was awful.

I was meeting up with Chungster at Country Bride to check out dresses at 11:30. I had a little extra time and a broken nail so I stopped at a Walgreens to pick up a nail file.

As I climbed back into the car with my purchase, I noticed something staring at me from the console of the car.

A stink bug:

Oh god. I just puked in my mouth a little. Bleeecccchhhhh.

For those who don't know, I am terrified of flying insects, particularly butterflies and moths (go ahead and laugh, but so is Nicole Kidman!) But I decided I was going to be brave and handle this like a mature, adult woman. I stared him down, and he stared me down. I said, "Listen Stink Bug, you stay on that side and I won't kill you. Deal?" I took his icy silence as an agreement.

I put the car in drive and headed the 2 miles down the road to my destination, checking on him constently. He started to skitter down to the passenger seat, and I was fine with that. When I got to the bridal shop Connie called to see if I was there yet. This is when The Stink Bug decided to take flight.

That whole thing about being a mature adult? Gone.

I jumped out the car and started to scream. I tried to put the passenger side window down, but the car was turned off. Keys, keys, where are the keys??? Still in the ignition- DAMMIT! Oh god oh god... I held my breath (that that was to accomplish, I have no clue), stuck my head in and turned the car on. I rolled down the window but he was still buzzing around in there! MY PURSE!! I needed my PURSE!!

Suddenly I heard a voice say, " Are you ok?" At this point I realized my panic was not an inner monologue, but in fact, out loud. The gentleman in the car next to me happened to have his window down and his wife on speaker. I looked at him with fear in my eyes and all I could puff out was "STIIIIIIINKKKKK BUUUUUUUG!!!!"

The man says to his wife, "Some girl is screaming like a banchee. I think there is a bee in her car."

Seriously dude? What part of "STINK BUG" sounds like "Bee"? Stink bugs are totally more evil. Whatever.

Anyway. He looks at me and says, "It's ok, it flew out the window. It's gone." I looked skeptically in the car, saw the coast was clear, grabbed my purse, and ran like the wind into the bridal shop, adrenaline pumping.

By the time I returned to the car, The Stink Bug was long gone. Good, otherwise I would have to show him who was boss.

Or screamed some more. Whichever.

Always & Forever,


Your Daily Barista said...

Butterflies? Really? But they are so pretty.

It could have been worse, it could have been La Cucaracha. Bleh. I am terrified (TERRIFIED!!!!!!) of said bugs. I have been known to cry to the point of being sick when I see one. I always have to refer to them as La Cucarachas, I have a very hard time even saying in English.

Jenny said...

Hahaha hiliarous story! (although at the time I'm sure it was anything but funny!) I'm a weakling when it comes to bees and giant cockroaches (we found a 4" specimen on the day we moved in to our last apartment - I freaked out and my fiance had to kill it, which took several strikes with a sneaker).

I was in my car once with the windows rolled down when a giant wasp (the kind with those long dangly legs) decided to fly on in WHILE I WAS DRIVING!! It's kind of hard to run out of your car screaming when you're going 35 mph. I thought I was going to have a panic attack while driving and they'd never know what had killed me!

Jodie said...

Hahaha...that's so funny! Well, not really funny because I could totally see myself doing the same thing, but funny to read about! :) Glad the thing flew away and didn't attack!

Anonymous said...

Yes LB is afraid of butterflies and her niece Doodles loves to tease her about it.


LB's oldest brother

JEGs said...

Well thats what you get for "being ok" with a stink bug climbing down into my seats!! Im actually surprised you were ok with it going into the passenger seat, seeing as how thats your seat most of the time! Glad you survived the attack! :)

Shannon said...

omg, was that a real live JEGS comment? omg, i feel like he's a celeb.

ANYWAY, let's talk about stink bugs. I could go on for hours. Like how they divebomb my desk at work. Or how they creep into my 80 year old house through it's nooks and crannies. And how they are just frigging disgusting. I would have behaved the exact same way. You are not a freak. Don't let anyone say you are.

Erin Schularick said...

Haha! I have been there soooo many times...and feel like such a ridiculous girl every time. But, I can never just force myself to be brave. Thank goodness it didn't start flying when you were driving, or you might have really hurt yourself.