I almost died yesterday. It was awful.
I was meeting up with Chungster at Country Bride to check out dresses at 11:30. I had a little extra time and a broken nail so I stopped at a Walgreens to pick up a nail file.
As I climbed back into the car with my purchase, I noticed something staring at me from the console of the car.
A stink bug:
Oh god. I just puked in my mouth a little. Bleeecccchhhhh.
For those who don't know, I am terrified of flying insects, particularly butterflies and moths (go ahead and laugh, but so is Nicole Kidman!) But I decided I was going to be brave and handle this like a mature, adult woman. I stared him down, and he stared me down. I said, "Listen Stink Bug, you stay on that side and I won't kill you. Deal?" I took his icy silence as an agreement.
I put the car in drive and headed the 2 miles down the road to my destination, checking on him constently. He started to skitter down to the passenger seat, and I was fine with that. When I got to the bridal shop Connie called to see if I was there yet. This is when The Stink Bug decided to take flight.
That whole thing about being a mature adult? Gone.
I jumped out the car and started to scream. I tried to put the passenger side window down, but the car was turned off. Keys, keys, where are the keys??? Still in the ignition- DAMMIT! Oh god oh god... I held my breath (that that was to accomplish, I have no clue), stuck my head in and turned the car on. I rolled down the window but he was still buzzing around in there! MY PURSE!! I needed my PURSE!!
Suddenly I heard a voice say, " Are you ok?" At this point I realized my panic was not an inner monologue, but in fact, out loud. The gentleman in the car next to me happened to have his window down and his wife on speaker. I looked at him with fear in my eyes and all I could puff out was "STIIIIIIINKKKKK BUUUUUUUG!!!!"
The man says to his wife, "Some girl is screaming like a banchee. I think there is a bee in her car."
Seriously dude? What part of "STINK BUG" sounds like "Bee"? Stink bugs are totally more evil. Whatever.
Anyway. He looks at me and says, "It's ok, it flew out the window. It's gone." I looked skeptically in the car, saw the coast was clear, grabbed my purse, and ran like the wind into the bridal shop, adrenaline pumping.
By the time I returned to the car, The Stink Bug was long gone. Good, otherwise I would have to show him who was boss.
Or screamed some more. Whichever.
Always & Forever,