Chains of love...

Every year for my birthday I purchase myself a gift. Never anything too extravagant, but just something that says, "Congrats. You made it another year and no one else is going to buy this for you."
This year, I want a new keychain.

I'm sorry, did you just hear me right?
Yes, I want a keychain.

These are my keys as of right now:

They are a sad looking set. The 'A' is something I bought from some random clothing store because my roommate and I at the time had the same looking key (Hyundais). I kept grabbing her keys by accident so finally I went out and bought this obnoxious red A. It's ripped on the front and the seam has come apart on the side. A no longer stands for what it was originally intended... A is for Abused.

The Coach keychain is actually a knock-off that I bought at a local flea market called Rice's. At one point it had three other charms: one that said "Coach" on it, an Eiffel Tower and an Arc de Triomphe. Now it has a phallic looking plane and a bag. That's it.

Now I'm on a mission to find the perfect keychain. Perhaps I should put up a profile on Match.com:

Hi, I'm Lizzie and I'm looking for a new keychain.
Me: fresh out of a realtionship with two other keychains that just couldn't handle me. I love Paris, tigerlillies and anything sparkley.

You: you are strong, nothing too cheap. Loves to travel, but won't mind "hanging" around either. You are bright and fun and are easily found when I throw you in my purse. Anything with winged insects need not apply (this means you butterflies).

Do you hold the keys to my heart car??

Always and Forever,
ME